In the depths of the Self
A River of Prayer
You're not aware
But it's there
These individual moments, which I thought to be like separate beads upon a string... strands of my life: Now appearing ... as I look back ... part of a single braid... now disclosing its secret beauty.
Or perhaps like a mine that's gradually being dug in one place. As if my life were like a piece of ground I'm standing on, ground I've been given. And as I dig down, gradually, over the years, mining my life: Sometimes for its insights and blessings. More often just the daily shoveling of dirt. But from time to time, I find ... there in the darkness ... beautiful jewels - like sparks of darkness... leading me on.
Especially has suffering - on behalf of others particularly, but also my own - hollowed me out, deepened me - opened me up, through yearning and stretching at times of utter extremity: Seeking to feel my way into the hidden heart and soul of another. To place myself in a receptive state. Or to bear the unbearable, along with others. Or weather the storms of emotion in the mystery of relationship.
Even when I was looking in all the wrong places for the wrong things... that emptiness or nothingness or receptivity or openness - seems to have been answered or echoed or set up an inner resonance, to which I responded, or which simply rose up like a fountain. As if it's been going on there all the time - and I never knew. Like a stream running through me - of which I am also a part.
I think we need to value where we're stuck. Rather than try to get away from it. To mine it. To take what we've been dealt - and dwell with it. That stuckness may be a place of potential transcendence.
Not that I'm very good at any of this .....
Newly arisen -
Appears and reappears
A sense of freedom
In the hurly-burly
Of my day
Of the Divine?
IV. This lovely photo of stratofrog's seems to belong here. Click on it and enlarge it. Ponder it. There is so much in this photo. So much beauty. So much mystery. So much sheltering darkness. The transcendent beauty of the clouds above. Opening in places. The mysterious translucent peach colors in the distance... like a channel between heaven and earth, clouds and mountains. It says so much to me! Thank you, stratofrog!
I am beautiful
in my soul.
Even the dark places
In silence and in mystery